How Time Flies...aka: Catching Up With Me!

Well folks, I know that it's been a LONG time since I've last posted. And a WHOLE lot has happened since then!!!

Let's see.....we have a new President. Michael Jackson is now moonwalking "on the other side". I have managed to maintain a relationship for longer than 4 months. All monumental occasions!

I can't remember if I even mentioned the new guy in previous posts. I'm guessing that if I did, it was very briefly. We only got together a few days before the 2008 Breast Cancer 3 Day (which henceforth will be known as BC3D).

Or maybe it wasn't briefly (since I am not exactly frugal with words). In any case......here is the run down.

He's a guy who I went to school with from 3rd grade to 6th grade. After my family moved away, I lost all contact with anyone from that time. The weekend before the '08 BC3D, I had been getting in touch with people from high school. On a whim, I also decided to see if I could find any familiar names from the 3rd-6th grade years.

Sure enough.......I did! My old Spelling Bee Nemesis, Neil. Who happens to live 4 miles from my apt. He remembered me as well, so we made a "phone date". And talked for hours. So then we went to dinner. And talked for hours. And have basically been inseparable ever since (going on 9 months now).

We have a lot of things in common. And he has this way of getting me to laugh when I'm in a really, REALLY down mood. It really does feel as though we've stayed connected over the past 25yrs.

That's not to say that there haven't been some growing pains along the way. I often set myself up for disappointment by expecting too much from people. This time was no different. He has a relatively impenetrable wall built up around his emotions b/c of past relationship disasters. And I do have trust issues b/c of MY past relationship disasters. I thought that our history and instant chemistry would eliminate such roadblocks. It didn't. But the difference between this relationship and past ones (for me at least) is the fact that we both care enough to talk through the issues.

Granted, there are still times when I want a bit more than he is able to give. But I've also learned that if it's going to happen, it has to happen on his time schedule, not mine. So, for the moment, I've left the ball in his court and am just sitting back and waiting to see what happens.

He's a dork (and proud of it). He can be a pain in the ass. But I love him and wouldn't have him any other way. Well.....maybe I'd get rid of the snoring.

Other news: My "baby" sister finished her freshman year of college. My "baby" brother got his own apartment. One cousin got engaged and another is getting ready to start graduate school (I used to baby sit all of these "kids"). My god-daughter is going to China as part of a Student Ambassador program. My niece finished 1st grade. My nephew will be turning 3 in Aug. Damn.....time flies.

I signed back up for the '09 BC3D. This time as a Crew Member. That means I won't have to spend countless hours training and fund-raising. I only need $300 instead of $2000+. And it will give me a chance to experience the event from a completely difference perspective. The Crew members night not be walking 60 miles, but we don't exactly sit on our butts either! We are up at 3:00 am and don't get to bed until close to midnight. Every minute of the day is occupied. I am looking forward to it.

I regained 20 of the 40lbs that I lost between the 07 and 08 BC3Ds. The BF bought a Wii system, with the Wii Fit option. We've been using it to burn calories. And we've been eating a lot more salads. This past week hasn't been the best for us (kind of fell off the bandwagon over July 4th weekend). But I think we'll get back on track....STARTING TONIGHT!!!!

WOW!!! That's a lot of stuff for one post. I have a bit more to share, but I will save that for another day.

TAKE CARE!!!

O N E M O R E W E E K ! ! ! !

National Depression Screening Day

I heard on the news that today is National Depression Screening Day.

And with the economy crumbling around us, I'm thinking a lot of people will fall into the DEPRESSED category.

Depression is a serious thing. For so many years, it was just written off as a MIND OVER MATTER thing. More and more studies show that it has a physical foundation, which leads to the emotional/mental effects.

Even with all of the scientific data supporting the physical side of depression, many people still still brush it off as "moodiness", "laziness", etc.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression a few years ago. For a very long time, I went through life feeling like I had 100 lb lead weights tied to me...like I was in a huge pit and couldn't climb out. I would miss days of work, simply b/c I didn't have the energy to get out of bed. I'd go for 2-3 days without showering. And my apartment looked more like a public dump than a place of residence. Once I began treatment, I was like an entirely different person.

I spent years suffering in silence....in the lack of knowledge and understanding of what my body was doing to me. And now I'm going to have to spend the next few years repairing the damage.

Damage to my body: when I was depressed, I tried to fix those feelings with food. Lots of food. Fattening food! As a result, I am close to 200 lbs and it will take some time to get back down to my healthy weight.

Damage to my finances: All of that food? CHARGE CARDS!!!! I attempted to figure it out and I think I was spending close to $400/month (probably more) on take-out, fast-food, and junk food. Over a 3yr period, that adds up!

Damage to my reputation: At work, I am considered a slacker. Not because I can't do my job or don't do it well. It's b/c when the depression had me in its grip, I just DIDN'T CARE! I'd show up at 10:00 and leave at 3:00. I'd go nap in my car 2-3 times a day. I am working very hard to change people's perception of me, but unfortunately, it takes a long time for the positives to wipe out the negatives.

If you feel that you have symptoms of depression, call a local doctor or hospital to find out about a depression screening.

SAX APPEAL!!!

This is a bit belated, b/c I've been busy.

My sister is an amazingly talented artist. And yes, I am a bit prejudiced. But obviously others feel a bit the same way because whenever she enters anything into a competition...SHE WINS!!!

This year she entered an acrylic painting (the photo above) of a saxophone into a local art show. It got her a first place in the category as well as a BEST IN SHOW. This is a repeat performance of last year when she got BEST IN SHOW for another painting she did.

MI HERMANA IS MUY AWESOME!!!!

Rainy Day Blues

Less than 6 weeks until the Breast Cancer 3 Day walk.

I didn't do any walking this past weekend. On Saturday, I was depressed and mopey and wanted to spend the day bathing in my mopiness.

Woke up. Stayed in bed reading. Took a nap at noon. Woke up at 2. Moved to the couch to read some more!

On a good note, I actually finished the third book of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I've had the books since I was in high school (mid 80s) and have started the trilogy countless times, but have yet to finish it. Book one flies by. Book two moves a bit more slowly, but intrigues me enough to finish it. Book 3.....I don't think I've ever gotten more than halfway through it. My problem is, once I pick up a book, I can't set it down. And once I do, I'm done with it. and with the LOTR Trilogy, I feel like I need to read THEM ALL at once......which is the equivalent to having a big breakfast on Thanksgiving morning (Book One), going to a Thanksgiving dinner at lunchtime (Book Two), and then having to go to yet another Thanksgiving dinner in the evening (Book Three).

The only time I actually wasn't in bed or on the couch was the hour I spent hiding from a possible tornado in my bathroom. Tropical Storm Hannah was making it way up the east coast and we had tornado warnings in my neighborhood. To be honest, I can never remember if it's a "watch" or a "warning" that means one actually has been sighted, but when the local cable company broke into ALL of the channels saying "get yer ass to shelter, right quick", I did so (after shoving my cats into their carrier and getting them and the guinea pig situated. Gotta take care of the kids first!!!). Turned out to be nothing but better safe than sorry. I have no interest in playing Dorothy.

On Sunday, I allowed myself another sleep-in and then spent the day in a mad apartment cleaning frenzy. My housekeeping is very lax on a good day, but with all of my training, I really have let it get out of hand.

Random funny story.....my BABY sister is away at her freshman year of college. I mailed her WalMart gift card figuring that she could use it for snacks, supplies, cds...whatever. I get a text from her today, thanking me for the card. "Now I can go buy BRAS!!!" was her response. Of course, I had to ask what happened to the bras she currently owns and received the answer "I'm too lazy to do laundry and I don't have any more clean ones". AHHHH COLLEGE!!!!!

I am up to $1600 raised, which means $600 to go (in less than 6 weeks). GULP!!!

Kids are AWESOME

In this day and age, kids seem to get a reputation for being a bit more outspoken and rude than I ever remember being allowed to be. But in reality, there are a lot of amazingly generous children out there and I have two stories to share.

The first is my teammate's daughter, Storm. She came with her mom to the yard sale this weekend and spent every single second finding ways to help us. From putting up the canopy to lugging boxes. I was doing facepainting, so when she saw someone with children, she directed them to my table. She made free sno-cones to hand out to people on the last (and hottest) day. And when she got "bored" with that, she started pulling in customers!!! She made up some signs on posterboard and held them up so the cars passing by would know what this was a breast cancer fundraiser. Several people stopped to make a donation. All on her own, she raised $50 for her mom's goal. STORM IS AN AWESOME KID!!!!

The second story was about the neighbor's children. Late Sunday afternoon, they set up a little lemonade stand. We figured that they were hoping to grab some of our customers....a trickle down effect of sorts. We felt badly for them b/c it was very slow. We had actually started to pack up. After and hour, they packed up as well....

.....and then walked down the street to give us the $11 they had raised!!!

How amazing is that?!?!?!

Last year on the walk, we walked past an elementary school. Along the entire fenced in schoolyard were dozens of young children, wearing pink, and holding up signs to cheer us on.

KIDS ARE SUPER COOL!!!!

Pink Penguin Extravaganza!!!!

Hello all. Yet another TIRED Monday after a busy, busy, CRAZY BUSY weekend (and hellishly long week beforehand).

No walking this time.....instead the focus was on fundraising. My team captain, Samantha, held a yardsale at her place in North NJ. She invited the rest of us Pink Penguins along to try and raise money for our individual efforts....we called the event the PINK PENGUIN EXTRAVAGANZA.

I spent the ENTIRE WEEK baking like a madwoman. I made 6-7 cakes. I made 4-5 batches of brownies. I made several batches of cookies.

Keep in mind, this is on top of working: 13hrs (mon), 11 hrs (tues), 10 hrs (wed/thurs). And even though I told my boss I only wanted to work 4hrs on Fri, I ended up working 6.5 (on 4hrs of sleep since I was up until 1am icing cakes the night before). I didn't get to bed before midnight all week AND I had to wake up at 4:30 am on Saturday.

I made $130 and I was happy with that. Not all of that was from the baked goods. I also had some magnetic car ribbons and other items with the pink ribbon on it. I did free face painting for the kids and some parents donated $ for that.

Samantha actually had a write up in the paper of the event...she put it in a few days ahead of time. As a result, she received many donations of items to sell. And by many....I mean MANY MANY MANY MANY!!! And people dropped by with checks already made out to the cause. She made $850 in the first day alone!!! Insane!!! And she has 2 people lined up to come take the leftovers to yard sales at their houses and donate a portion of the proceeds back to us.

I need to take a page from her book when doing my fundraising events next year. It's been a bit more difficult to have a HUGE yardsale b/c I don't have my own place. I'm hoping that will change within the next 6 months (as I have plans to take advantage of the real estate market and buy a house).

It was a great weekend. Not only did I get to subtract money from the WHAT I NEED TO GET TO MY $2200 GOAL column, but I got to hang out with my 2 crazy teamates and friends. It was a lot of fun!!!

Between the money I raised this weekend and the money I still have to add to my account from the August bake sale @ work, I should be around $1450 raised. So if anyone should happen to see a $750 bill lying on the ground, keep me in mind!!!

Which came first??!!??!!

I actually have no interest in this particular question since I am of the God Created All Creatures belief.

What I am curious about is this... WHO decided that it would be a tasty idea to crack open and cook up something that comes out of a chicken's back-end??!!??!?!

I'm not complaining! I love me some eggs. Fried, scrambled, poached, hard boiled. There's really no bad way to eat them. But seriously....who was the first person to make a fried egg? Did someone crack it open thinking that they'd find a baby chick and then decided to get imaginative with the snotty substance they found inside? Did someone inadvertantly drop an egg on a sunny surface, which caused it send out appetizing aromas while it was cooking? Or perhaps, because eggs give forth new life, someone thought it would be good to eat as a symbolic gesture (although that doesn't really explain how the cooking got involved)?

I WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!

Relay For Life

I just signed up to do a Relay For Life event. Basically it means that I (along with a few hundred other people) will be walking for 24hrs straight in order to raise money for the American Cancer Society.

The event is May 17th and 18th at my alma mater, Southern Columbia High School. I have set a goal to raise $100, so any help would be appreciated.

I figure it will be a great way to really spur my 3 Day Walk training!

I'm on my best friend's team. My sister and some of her marching band buddies will be involved as well. It should be a good time, for a wonderful cause!!!

To donate: CLICK HERE!!!

First Training Walk!!!

Not only did I sign up for the 2008 3 Day Walk immediately after completing the 2007 event....I also signed up to be a Training Walk Leader. I had gone on some training walks last year and found that the tidbits of information I received from the leaders I met were invaluable in helping me to prepare. I wanted to ne able to extend that knowledge to others.

This past Sunday, I held my FIRST OFFICIAL TRAINING WALK!!!!

I held it at Neshaminy State Park. I chose this location for multiple reasons. A) close to my house. B) combination of paved and "off road" surfaces. C) path goes in a "loop", which means that I simply repeat the path multiple times to reach the desired mileage (and people can drop out after completing one circuit if they don't feel up to going the full distance).

The weather was generous this weekend. I was fortunate to have dry weather for both my trip to NYC on Saturday as well as my walk. There was a bit of chill in the air, enhanced by the wind. But once we got moving, our bodies warmed up nicely.

I met 3 ladies on this walk: Mickey, Pam, and Sam. All of them are 3 Day "virgins", so I was excited to be able to pass along some of my enthusiasm for the event to them. They peppered me with lots of questions and I feel relatively confident that I was able to provide sensible and informative answers. We all had similar personalities, so there were no awkward moments along the walk.

Pam and Sam are sisters. Since I am not great at putting names to faces, I told them that I would simply combine their names and refer to them as the SPAM Sisters! They loved it so much that they are considering making it their official team name!!!

We logged in 3.2 miles, which brings my total of walking for the weekend to something around 6.5 miles. It was a great experience, which simply cemented my decision to become a Training Walk Leader.

The only downfall is that I woke up Monday with a killer upper respiratory infection and it is putting a crimp in my workout plans this week. As much as I want to get to the gym for some cross training, I know from personal experience that if I force myself to go, I will make myself sicker (and end up missing an additional week). So it's lots of green tea, oj, echinacea, and sleep for me this week.

The Big Apple!!!

Yesterday I spent the day in New York City. My sister (a senior in high school) was going there on a class trip. My mother was going as well as my best friend and her daughter. I decided to take the train and meet them up with them. I was up at 4:30 am in order to get my things together and pick up the 6:30 am train. By 9:00, I was in the Big Apple.

I walked the 25 blocks or so to join them at Carnegie Hall. What a stunning building!!! It was built in 1891 and I learned that Tchaikovsky headlined on opening night. I also learned that the building was very progressive in the fact that it was run by electricity instead of gaslights as most theaters and music halls were, as a means to prevent destruction by fire. The acoustics were absolutely amazing!!! An oboist was warming up on stage and whether we were sitting in the front row or the "nosebleeds", the sound carried to us perfectly (no amplification needed).

After the tour, we headed to Times Square for lunch and then to The Schubert Theater to see Spamalot. I have to admit that I went with some reservations. I had seen The Holy Grail when I was in high school, but wasn't exactly enthralled. However, I had a great time and laughed so hard that I had concerns about "soiling my armor". Clay Aiken starred as Sir Robin and I really love his singing......that added to the experience for me!

Next was a visit to Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum. It was an experience that was a creepy as it was fun. The figures are set up in such a way that you can get right up close and personal. You can pose with them....you can touch them. And even though you know that it's not a real person, you are expecting them to reach out and grab you. In fact, as I was walking into the exhibit, I tried to hand my ticket to the woman with an outstretched arm.....until I realized it was actually a figure of Whoopie Goldberg! They had a figure of Jon Bon Jovi (quite possibly the sexiest man on the entire planet). I posed for a picture of my giving him a kiss.....the closest I'll ever get to planting on on the hunk!!!

Dinner was at Planet Hollywood (cheeseburger and fries hit the spot after a hectic day) and then I headed back to the train. Ended up missing the train that would get me home by midnight, so I ended up not hitting the hay until 2:00 am or so Sunday morning.

I logged about 3.2-3.3 miles of walking towards my 3 Day Walk training!

Happy Easter!!!!

I hope that everyone had a great Easter Holiday!

Mine was jam packed. Took Friday off from work...."slept in" until 7:00 (been waking up at 5:00, so it really was sleeping in!). Went to the gym, WW, and ran errands. Came home and took a 2hr nap!

Got in the car around 8:00 pm to head up to my parents'...only to turn around 45min later b/c I though I forgot something at home (turns out I didn't. what can I say...blonde moment!). Went to bed at midnight and got BACK UP at 4:00am and left (for real this time) at 6:00am.

Picked up my niece and we spent the day together. We had breakfast, had a "play date" with my BFs kids, and went to Grandma's house to jump on the trampoline. After I dropped her back home, I went and visited another friend of mine. Then grabbed a quick bite to eat before heading out to visit with my Aunt Tina. THEN I met up with my friend, my sister, and sister's BF for a late night snack. FINALLY got to bed around 1:00am.

Here it is, Easter Morning. After I update my blog, I have to get Easter Dinner started for the family. Then will visit my BF. Then will head back home.

Aren't holidays (and long weekends) supposed to be RELAXING?!?!?!?!

Happy Spring!!!!

Spring is a time of fresh starts.......clean slates.......rebirth. It's also a time for "cleaning house"......tossing out those old things that just clutter up your life, while brushing the dust of off some older (let valuable) treasures.

This year, I plan on doing some serious Spring Cleaning. I'm not talking about my closets; I'm talking about me. My mind, body, and spirit.

Obviously, with the body, I have already taken the first step(s). Eating better, going to the gym. I'm only about 30% of the way to where I want to be with my weight loss, but that's quite an accomplishment.

Mind and Spirit are a bit more difficult to tackle. I know that I am tired of carrying around resentment, mistrust, and insecurities (baggage from past relationships). I know that I need to stop over-analyzing EVERY SINGLE THING and driving myself INSANE. I know that I want to be able to ENJOY the relationship I'm in, rather than waiting for that next shoe to fall (more baggage!!!!).

I'm not really sure where to start with any of the above things. Guess I'll have to take it Day By Day!!!

Happy St Patty's day

Yes, I know.....a day late. Better a day late than never, right?

It's been shamefully long since I've had a post. I've been very busy since November.

I'm registered for the 2008 Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk. I will be walking at the Philadelphia event, October 17-19. I am also going to be a training walk leader. I'm hoping in doing that, I will be a little more steadfast in my own training schedule. I had spurts of motivation last year, filled in with periods of stagnation. I made it through the walk with the help of my wonderful teammate Kimm, but it was a lot harder than it should have been b/c of my slacking off in the training.

I joined Weight Watchers right after the walk have lost slightly over 30lbs to date. I recently started going to the gym for some cardio and strength training. I have been incorporating some running and inclines into my treadmill routine, as well as using the elliptical machine as part of my 3 Day training. One thing I learned last year as that the cross training (of which I did NONE) is crucial. As soon as the weather gets warmer, I will take to roller blading and bike riding on the weekends in addition to my walking.

Still seeing my "old-new" boyfriend and it's been decent. Not to say that there haven't been some "hiccups" along the way, but what relationship doesn't have them?!?!?! I'm just not sure if his anger issues with his ex are surmountable or not. Guess time will tell.

I guess that's all for now. TTY Soon!!

Time to play "ketchup"!!!

It has been way too long since I've posted, so this is a Catch Up Post!

I am fully recuperated from the walk. My feet still look all jacked up from the peeling (dead skin from the calluses is coming off) but I am still amazed at how well they held up for 60+ brutal miles.

Because of the constant reminders about Early Detection, I decided start doing my self-breast checks at home. And I found a lump. So I had my first official mammogram. You know what, it was not bad at all. I'm not saying I would do one every week....but the fear and anticipation was SO much worse than the actual procedure. The dr says that it is 99% likely that the lump is just a benign cyst, but I am having it removed and biopsied anyway. BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!!!

I also joined WW (the week after the walk). I weighed in around (maybe even a little above) 240 lbs. This past weigh in, I had lost a total of 11 lbs (been on the program for 5 weeks). I know that it's going to be a long road, but I know I can do it. If I can walk 60 miles in the piss-poor shape that I am in, I can manage lose 100 lbs.

I had my first date in almost 3 years. My 3 Day training buddy, Marie, set me up. It wasn't a BAD date (and I know that there are some horror stories about the Blind date), it was just.......ok. The guy is very "vanilla" and I prefer some "chocolate chip mint". Since he was calling me just about every day in the week leading up to the date, and I haven't heard from him since (2 weeks ago), I'm guessing he also felt the LACK of connection. It wasn't the most successful First Date I've ever had, but it was nice to get back in the saddle. I guess that means I need to sit down and update my Match and Cupid profiles!!! I have't had much success with the online dating thing....guys just seem to back away from meeting the "big girls". But maybe this time will be the charm!!!

I received a bit of news that envoked many different emotions in me. I found out that my ex had separated from his wife (she basically picked up and left). Initially, I was dancing for glee. This was the woman who he was involved with before we got together and who he went back to after we broke up. I know his reasons for doing what he did, but the catty part of me was still happy to hear that she proved to be the "not so nice word" I pegged her to be. My 2nd emotion was sadness and concern for him. There are some people in this world that will, no matter how much time passes, always have a place in your heart. This guy is one of those. Even though I now realize that we were not meant to be together romantically, I still care for him. And I know enough about his history to know that he would take all of the responsibility for the split upon himself (and punish himself unecessarily for it). Then, a week or so after I heard about the separation, when I heard that he was being treated for suicidal thoughts, I felt very real fear. We did speak on the phone and it seems that he is doing better now.

I also got to reconnect with another face from my past. I had dated a guy some years ago who had a son. Even after we broke up, I still set aside time to visit with Leon. Then Leon's dad got into a serious relationship with somebody, so my time was cut back. I understood why it had to happen but it was still a difficult transition. This past Monday, Leon was off from school for Veteran's day. So his dad brought him to me and we spent a wonderful few hours together. We went to Chucky Cheese (spent $40 in tickets, in order to go home with $3.00 worth of prizes. The person who came up with that idea is a genius!!!!) and then the park.

It's been a busy but fulfilling time since my 3 Day experience!!!

RA....keep us dry!

The photo is of a painting that my sister did for a school project. She then entered it in an art contest and won 1st place for the category as well as Best Of Show for the division. The subject is RA, the ancient egyptian god of sun.

GO SOMBRA!!!!

At the moment (with 4 days to go), the long term forecast is calling for SUNNY SKIES! Let's hope that RA keeps the sun shining and the rain away!!!

18 Days to go......and I'm sick of OJ!

No, I don't mean the drink. I mean the got-away-with-murder, beat-up-his-wife, ex football player by the name of OJ Simpson. Apparently he got arrested over the weekend. I couldn't tell you what the charges were, b/c every time I saw his face on TV, I changed channels.

ENOUGH ALREADY PEOPLE! The football legend is long gone so let's focus on more important issues!!!

OK, venting done!

With a little over 3 weeks until the 3 Day Walk, I have been ramping up my training and learned some lessons.

I walked 11 miles on Saturday. At one point it started pouring. Lesson? Bring a damn poncho!!!! I ended up having to run into KMart to buy dry clothes!!! Also, dress in LAYERS! I'ts easy enough to take them off if you get too hot, but if you don't start out dressed warm enough for the current conditions, you will be shivering and shaking in your New Balances!

Lesson 2....STRETCH MORE! I am notoriously BAD at doing this. I tend to do it only when I can feel that something is cramping up. It's a reactive stretch rather than a preventative one. I read somewhere that you not only need to stretch for 5 min every hour while walking, but that you should be stretching when you wake up and when you go to bed if you want to make sure your muscles are in good shape for the long events. It's a habit I desparately need to acquire!

On Sunday, I walked for 7 miles. And I learned 2 more things (not really lessons....just useful information). First, my "camelback" (backpack integrated with a water bag and drinking tube) is definitely the way to go. I had been training with a fanny pack that could hold 2 medium bottles of gatorade as well as a storage compartment for other items. It was not the most comfortable thing but I felt like I had adjusted to it. After using the backpack, I realized how awkward the fanny pack really was. And with the weight of the water bottles riding on my lower back, I was actually straining myself more than necessary. Another benefit of the backpack is that it holds MORE STUFF!!! I combine the backpack with a much smaller fanny pack (that is big enough to hold my cell phone, keys, and credit cards....not much more) and I can bring everything with me that I need while hoofing it!

The second thing I learned is HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WALKING SANDALS!!! I had picked up a pair with the intention of wearing them every so often along the 3 Day route to give my feet a "breather" from the sneakers. I wore them on Sunday and my feet were SO much more comfortable that I plan on using them as much as I can during the actual walk! They have an amazing amount of arch support and that is something that I can't find in even the top of the line sneakers (you know, the ones that cost between $90 and $120?!?! When the sandals cost $25!!!!).

I can feel my excitement growing as the 3 Day gets closer!!!!

The Clock is Ticking!!!

I can't believe it. As of yesterday (Friday, Aug 17) I have only 7 WEEKS UNTIL THE 3 DAY!

I have done so much already but have so much more to do!

I have done my fundraising. I am still doing it somewhat. Any additional donations to my 3 Day Headquarters will be more money to a worthy cause. Any other cash donations (from collection jars and upcoming events) will be put in the bank for 2008's walk.

I have started buying the items I need for the walk. Socks, sports bras, toiletries (sp??), sneakers, etc. I have a fanny pack with water bottles. I have lots of sunscreen.

I've been walking! Not as much as I'd like but I'm getting more in each week.

I am SO EXCITED!!!!!!!

Dating at Large

or XXL!!!

I am at a crossroads in my life. For the past several years, I have tried the dating thing on and off. Most times, I would meet up with (online, not in person) some guys who appeared to be decent. Then the weight issue would come up. I did not want to downplay it because at 220 lbs, it is obvious that I am overweight. However, I did not want to out it out there in huge neon lights because I am SO MUCH MORE than a number on a scale. If I was asked how much I weigh (and I WAS asked, every single time), I would say "a little over 200". That was it. No rambling trying to justify why I am heavy or claim that I was in the process of losing weight.

100% of the guys never talked to me again after that conversation. Not one. Ever.

As a result, I would lose my motivation and self confidence. I'd drop out of the online dating game. However, since I am an eternal optimist, I would go back and repost my personals profile after a few months.

Here is where I am torn. One one hand: I know I am better off without those who disappear when they find out that I'm fat. And since I have had repetitive UNsuccessful online dating attempts, I think that I should just give it up for good. On the other hand: I have seen people WAY fatter...and uglier (fat OR skinny)...and plain old bitchier...in what appear to be loving relationships. So why should I give up on the chance to have that for myself? Why should I put my life on hold "until I am a size 8 again"?

Don't get me wrong. I don't sit around staring at walls. I meet up with friends for movies and shopping. I travel with my sister to NYC to catch Broadway shows. Even with all of that, there are times when I quite simply MISS having a special guy to call my own.

What are your thoughts on this matter?

What a crazy week it's been

Let's start with the most traumatic incident. I had to have a tooth pulled. Needless to day, my tooth was NOT as happy as the one pictured above!!!! I have inherited my father's teeth, which are prone to decay and breaking (despite the 3-4 times a day of brushing, using Listerine wash, fluoride wash, flossing, etc). He had NO MORE TEETH left by the time he was in his mid-40s. I am hoping and praying that I do NOT end up following his lead.

I also found out that my driver's license, which had been lost, made its way to West Virginia. So far there is nothing that indicates that it has been used for fradulant purposes, but I will probably need to wait a few weeks to be sure.

This past weekend I had some fundraising events. On Saturday I had a bake sale/raffle at my local WalMart. Got lots of donated goodies and drinks to sell. I also made up gift baskets (again, ussing mostly donated items) to raffle off. My sister did facepainting. I made about $250 and WalMart should match it. On Sunday, I set up at the mom-n-pop store near my parents' house and sold the remaining baked goods as well as a few more raffle tickets for some smaller prizes. I made an additional $30 there. On Sunday night I handed out vouchers to a local restaurant (they donated 10% of the sales from those who turned in vouches) and I just found out that I made about $100 from that.

I can say with all confidence that I will be able to meet my $2200 mark within a month. And I have set up several training walks this week, so I will be back on schedule with the physical preparation for the 3Day.

YAY ME!!!