RIP Wolfgang

My sweet kitty of 15 years, Wolfgang, passed away today.

He was suffering from kidney failure. He went downhill so fast and was in obvious discomfort. Letting him go was such a difficult decision for me, but I knew that it would be selfish of me to expect him to stick around just to keep me from being sad.

His last hour at home was spent curled up with me in the sunshine. My other cat (Boris), who had been picking on Wolfgang during his illness, came over and started washing Wolfie's face. Then he rested his head on Wolfgang's shoulder for a few minutes. He was saying his good byes.

After that I drove him to the vet, where he was sent on his way to the Rainbow Bridge.

The tears will not stop falling. I know that it was the right decision, but that doesn't stop it from hurting.

RIP Wolfgang. Thank you for the 15 years of unconditional love. Mommy misses you.

How Time Flies...aka: Catching Up With Me!

Well folks, I know that it's been a LONG time since I've last posted. And a WHOLE lot has happened since then!!!

Let's see.....we have a new President. Michael Jackson is now moonwalking "on the other side". I have managed to maintain a relationship for longer than 4 months. All monumental occasions!

I can't remember if I even mentioned the new guy in previous posts. I'm guessing that if I did, it was very briefly. We only got together a few days before the 2008 Breast Cancer 3 Day (which henceforth will be known as BC3D).

Or maybe it wasn't briefly (since I am not exactly frugal with words). In any case......here is the run down.

He's a guy who I went to school with from 3rd grade to 6th grade. After my family moved away, I lost all contact with anyone from that time. The weekend before the '08 BC3D, I had been getting in touch with people from high school. On a whim, I also decided to see if I could find any familiar names from the 3rd-6th grade years.

Sure enough.......I did! My old Spelling Bee Nemesis, Neil. Who happens to live 4 miles from my apt. He remembered me as well, so we made a "phone date". And talked for hours. So then we went to dinner. And talked for hours. And have basically been inseparable ever since (going on 9 months now).

We have a lot of things in common. And he has this way of getting me to laugh when I'm in a really, REALLY down mood. It really does feel as though we've stayed connected over the past 25yrs.

That's not to say that there haven't been some growing pains along the way. I often set myself up for disappointment by expecting too much from people. This time was no different. He has a relatively impenetrable wall built up around his emotions b/c of past relationship disasters. And I do have trust issues b/c of MY past relationship disasters. I thought that our history and instant chemistry would eliminate such roadblocks. It didn't. But the difference between this relationship and past ones (for me at least) is the fact that we both care enough to talk through the issues.

Granted, there are still times when I want a bit more than he is able to give. But I've also learned that if it's going to happen, it has to happen on his time schedule, not mine. So, for the moment, I've left the ball in his court and am just sitting back and waiting to see what happens.

He's a dork (and proud of it). He can be a pain in the ass. But I love him and wouldn't have him any other way. Well.....maybe I'd get rid of the snoring.

Other news: My "baby" sister finished her freshman year of college. My "baby" brother got his own apartment. One cousin got engaged and another is getting ready to start graduate school (I used to baby sit all of these "kids"). My god-daughter is going to China as part of a Student Ambassador program. My niece finished 1st grade. My nephew will be turning 3 in Aug. Damn.....time flies.

I signed back up for the '09 BC3D. This time as a Crew Member. That means I won't have to spend countless hours training and fund-raising. I only need $300 instead of $2000+. And it will give me a chance to experience the event from a completely difference perspective. The Crew members night not be walking 60 miles, but we don't exactly sit on our butts either! We are up at 3:00 am and don't get to bed until close to midnight. Every minute of the day is occupied. I am looking forward to it.

I regained 20 of the 40lbs that I lost between the 07 and 08 BC3Ds. The BF bought a Wii system, with the Wii Fit option. We've been using it to burn calories. And we've been eating a lot more salads. This past week hasn't been the best for us (kind of fell off the bandwagon over July 4th weekend). But I think we'll get back on track....STARTING TONIGHT!!!!

WOW!!! That's a lot of stuff for one post. I have a bit more to share, but I will save that for another day.

TAKE CARE!!!

I DID IT....AGAIN!!!!

Just a quick TOUCH BASE to let everyone know that I completed my 2nd Breast Cancer 3 day Walk. I walked all 60 miles and had NO PROBLEMS with my feet or legs at all. A teeny blister that isn't worth mentioning and a wee bit of soreness (which ibuprofen and heat packs took care of quickly).

I did get laid up with an ass-kicking upper respiratory thing for a few days, but I'm all better now.

I will post more info and pix of the walk when I have some free time.



I do have a few personal update stories though!



A) Leopards don't change their spots and JACKASSES will be jackasses until they die. The guy that I dated many years ago, who left, but came back....? He left again. Without even a courtesy call. I was beating myself up over it for a few months but then realized that HE was the one who should be embarrassed, not me. So, I got over it and moved forward.



B) FACEBOOK IS COOL. I was looking up old high school people and, on a whim, looked up people who may have graduated from a school that I went to from 3rd-6th grade. And I found a name I recognized. In fact, he was one of my friends (and an old arch nemesis when it came to tests and spelling bees. CREPE!!!). After my family moved away, I never kept in touch with anyone at all, so I was pleasantly surprised when responded back and knew exactly who I was. We started chatting.....for hours....until 4:00 am. Turns out that he and I have some things in common.



Such as: going to school for scientific stuff. I got a chemisty degree and work for a pharmaceutical company. He got his degree in pharmacy. And, even though we grew up hours away from Phila, we both settled in the SAMN DAMN TOWN (seriously....4 miles apart from each other). Our personalities seem similar as well.....sense of humor, sarcasm (although mine is not quite as fine-tuned and cutting as his. I'M WORKING ON IT!!!).



I won't deny that it's freaking me the fuck out BUT I'm also having a blast playing "connect the dots" between 6th grade and present day. It doesn't seem like 25yrs have passed at all.

(Oh..... he made me a mean chicken noodle soup when I was sick. I don't think I've ever had a guy cook for me. EVER. Unless you count microwave popcorn).



Anyway, I guess that's all for now.

IT'S HERE!!!

In less than 24hrs I will be doing my 2nd Breast Cancer 3 day Walk.

I'M SO EXCITED!

I just hope that I survive. I did a hell of a lot of training, but this week I am tempting fate by making myself sleep deprived.

I am reconnecting with an old friend.....and playing catch up from the past 25yrs involves lots of late night phone calls (and very little sleep). As much as I enjoy playing "connect the dots" from 6th grade until present time, I have a feeling it's going to kick my ass this weekend.

Packing DONE!!!

I am not sure how I managed it, given the total LACK of energy I had all weekend, but my duffel bag is packed and ready to go.

I am very, very, VERY excited about meeting up with my teammates in 4 MORE DAYS!!!!

On a good note.....I seemed to have harnessed in the upper respiratory thing I was dealing with relatively early. FINGERS CROSSED it stays that way!

no. no. no. OH HELL NO!!!!

Woke up this morning with a stuffy nose and a scratchy throat.

NONONONO. I am not getting sick. After all of the damn work I have done to raise the money and train for this walk, there is NO WAY I AM MISSING IT!!!!

I don't care if I have to have my teammates pull me in a wagon every single mile of the way!!!

I am taking all kinds of supplements and drinking a butt-load of green tea.

BECAUSE I CANNOT BE SICK!!! I WILL NOT BE SICK!!!!

O N E M O R E W E E K ! ! ! !

National Depression Screening Day

I heard on the news that today is National Depression Screening Day.

And with the economy crumbling around us, I'm thinking a lot of people will fall into the DEPRESSED category.

Depression is a serious thing. For so many years, it was just written off as a MIND OVER MATTER thing. More and more studies show that it has a physical foundation, which leads to the emotional/mental effects.

Even with all of the scientific data supporting the physical side of depression, many people still still brush it off as "moodiness", "laziness", etc.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression a few years ago. For a very long time, I went through life feeling like I had 100 lb lead weights tied to me...like I was in a huge pit and couldn't climb out. I would miss days of work, simply b/c I didn't have the energy to get out of bed. I'd go for 2-3 days without showering. And my apartment looked more like a public dump than a place of residence. Once I began treatment, I was like an entirely different person.

I spent years suffering in silence....in the lack of knowledge and understanding of what my body was doing to me. And now I'm going to have to spend the next few years repairing the damage.

Damage to my body: when I was depressed, I tried to fix those feelings with food. Lots of food. Fattening food! As a result, I am close to 200 lbs and it will take some time to get back down to my healthy weight.

Damage to my finances: All of that food? CHARGE CARDS!!!! I attempted to figure it out and I think I was spending close to $400/month (probably more) on take-out, fast-food, and junk food. Over a 3yr period, that adds up!

Damage to my reputation: At work, I am considered a slacker. Not because I can't do my job or don't do it well. It's b/c when the depression had me in its grip, I just DIDN'T CARE! I'd show up at 10:00 and leave at 3:00. I'd go nap in my car 2-3 times a day. I am working very hard to change people's perception of me, but unfortunately, it takes a long time for the positives to wipe out the negatives.

If you feel that you have symptoms of depression, call a local doctor or hospital to find out about a depression screening.

PREDICTION

I predict that the A-Hole will get back together with his whore of an ex by Christmas.

Love isn't blind....

IT'S F-ING RETARDED !!!!!

10 days and $200 to go!!!

TECHNICALLY, only $163 left!!!

I had a surprise donation from a family friend today. That donation put me over the $2000 mark....a hurdle that I had been trying to clear for over a month now!!!

THANKS GEORGE!!!

You know, 2 weeks ago, I was sure that I wouldn't be able to raise the money in time. That I'd have to make up the difference from my own savings account (which I would do, b/c there is NO WAY I'm sitting out!!!).

But I am continuously amazed at the generosity of the people in my life. One coworker, who faithfully buys my baked items each Friday, handed me a $50 bill a few weeks back. Another girl slipped me a $20. My grandmother, who I know is dealing with her own bills and a new mortgage payment, bought me a $30 duffel bag as well as gave me $20.

I have no doubts that I will be able to raise the remaining money needed for this year's walk. Hopefully I will even raise a little extra and be able to help my teammates reach their goal as well.

BROWNIES FOR BOOBIES!!!

I have been baking goodies at home and selling them at work to raise money for my Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk. And I've been pretty successful, with the exception of the few times that someone brought in other goodies (donuts, bagels) on my Bake Sale Days.

Last week, I was busy baking all week. And then on Thursday, I was warned that there would be bagels and such the next day. I was freaking out. I didn't want to throw the stuff away, but I just didn't think it would be fresh enough to sell on the following week.

Then I remembered that my hair dresser (Rosie) had asked me about bringing some items into the salon for her to sell in the break room. So I put in a panicked call to her and explained the situation. She told me to bring it on in.

And....

IT ALL SOLD!!! Not only did I sell out, but she told me that she had requests for me to bring in MORE items this week! So for the next few weeks, I'm on double duty in the kitchen. I should be able to make a good sized dent in the money I have left to raise!!!

I LOVE OCTOBER!!!

Actually, I just love the fall. Cooler temps, combined with the crisp autumn air and changing leaves, never fails to recharge my batteries.

This weekend I got up bright and early each day to walk. On Saturday, I spent the ENTIRE DAY in Philadelphia. In the morning I walked along Kelly Drive, which led me to an unexpected (and pleasant) surprise....the annual Dragon Boat Festival. It's a Chinese tradition but everyone is free to put their oar in the water. I took in a few races. It was very interesting.

After I finished up my first 10 miles, I decided to take a break along the Ben Franklin Parkway. There was an Obama rally going on. While I'm not overly political, I do think he's a better candidate than McCain. And Bruce Springsteen was putting on a free show. Which means that I would have been there no matter who the benefit was for.....even if it meant wearing a sticker saying "I LOVE GEORGE W !!" (thankfully, it DIDN'T....I didn't have to be a hypocrite for the entertainment).

After the show, I put in another 5 miles.

Sunday was nothing interesting....walking 10 miles and doing some last minute shopping for my walk.

SAX APPEAL!!!

This is a bit belated, b/c I've been busy.

My sister is an amazingly talented artist. And yes, I am a bit prejudiced. But obviously others feel a bit the same way because whenever she enters anything into a competition...SHE WINS!!!

This year she entered an acrylic painting (the photo above) of a saxophone into a local art show. It got her a first place in the category as well as a BEST IN SHOW. This is a repeat performance of last year when she got BEST IN SHOW for another painting she did.

MI HERMANA IS MUY AWESOME!!!!

THINGS THAT IRRITATE THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!!

WARNING...this post is full of anger, ranting, and swearing!!!!

It's PMS FROM HELL week, so I figured that I'd make a list of things that would irritate me normally but this week, make me want to rip people's heads off and shove them up their asses!!!!





-- People who don't knock before jiggling the door handle on a public restroom. Also, people who are using the restroom but don't yell out when I give a courtesy knock before trying the handle.





-- People who, at a 4 way intersection, either go when it's not their turn (which I guess is kind of an obvious one). ALSO....people at the same intersection who tell you to go when it's actually THEIR turn (which is probably less obvious....but no less irritating to me).





-- People who order the most expensive thing on the menu at a group lunch. Then divide the check up by the total number of people there. And then act like I'M the one being unreasonable when I refuse to pay $15 for my $4 lunch special.





-- People who blare their horns at you as you are sitting in the exit of a parking lot.....even though you are not moving forward or blocking lanes, therefore not causing any potential traffic accidents. And, of course, they are always on their cell phones. Meaning that they didn't see me sitting there the entire time b/c they were focused on their call rather than the road, so when they finally DID see me, their reaction was "what the fuck is she doing?!?!?!" even though I hadn't moved in at least 2 min. If you're going to talk on the phone while driving, at least take the responsibility for your own stupidity!!!





-- People who borrow money for sodas, snacks from the vending machine, or lunch on a regular basis......yet the ONE TIME you do it, they make fun of you....for the next 2-3 months.





-- People who routinely check out EBAY and Craig's List while at work, but make fun of you for checking your personal email during your lunch break.





-- People who move to the US from another country, open a business, and can't speak a word of English. No, I'm not a total bigotted bitch. The US is basically a land of immigrants. I am all for people coming here and having a better life than they could have had in their motherland. I don't care about people continuing to embrace their culture once they are here. I don't even care if they don't choose to learn English (after all, it's their own neck on the line if they need help but don't know how to ask for it). But if you are going to open a business where you deal with customers.....shouldn't you be able to at least communicate with them? As a consumer, do I not have the right to HAVE YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!





-- People who move here from another country and then CONTINUOUSLY BITCH ABOUT THE UNITED STATES!!! If you hate it so much, then GO THE FUCK BACK HOME!!!!



-- People who constantly interrupt me. This is ironic , since I am notorious for doing it myself. But, to give myself credit, I realize it's annoying and am trying to cut back on doing it (and I apologize when I catch myself doing it).

Midnight Sun

Midnight Sun is a phenomenon occurring in latitudes north and nearby to the south of the Arctic Circle and south and nearby to the north of the Antarctic Circle where the sun remains visible at the local midnight. Given fair weather, the sun is visible for a continuous 24 hours, mostly north of the Arctic Circle and south of the Antarctic Circle.

It's also the working title of a book by author, Stephanie Meyer. For those who do not know, she is the author of the Twilight series of books about Bella (a mortal) who falls in love with Edward (a vampire. A nice vampire. A very, very, VERY nice vampire!).

Basically, the Twilight series is written from Bella's perspective. Ms Meyer thought that it would be great to have a book from Edward's perspective. And from what we could see (she gave as an "appetizer" by allowing us to read the first chapter on her website), she was right. I was very excited for the book to be published.

Then, some idiot decided WHAT FUN it would be to post a copy of the draft on the internet. Ms Meyer got all kinds of pissed off and decided that there was no point to finish the book.

Hello...WHAT?!?!?!?!

I understand that someone betrayed her trust. I understand her going after that person like a vampire goes after blood (well, the UN-nice vampires anyway). But how does punishing her fans right the wrong?

I'm sure there were plenty of people who looked at the leaked draft. I'm sure that there were many MORE (such as myself) who did NOT.

To be fair, Ms Meyer did post a copy of the draft on her website so that her fans could read it and get a bit of insight into Edward's mind. As much as I appreciate that, I still am feeling a bit disappointed. My books are like friends, and I like to visit them over and over again. My Twilight collection will simply not feel complete until Midnight Sun is on the shelf.

So, Ms Meyer....have your pity party. You are entitled to it. But then, think of your fans and keep the production and release of Midnight Sun moving forward.

9-11, always remember

Today is the 7 yr anniversary of 9-11.

A moment to remember those who perished. A lifetime to honor those who willingly risk their lives to keep us safe.

When Life Hands You Lemons....

This post was originally starting out as a bitch fest, but then it ended up turning into something positive.

The bitch fest was because I was upset. Several months ago, people at work got raises. I didn't. I will not go into the details, other than to say that it was a bogus deal and total BS. Finally, yesterday, I find out that my raise got approved. And then, this morning, I receive a notice from my apartment mgmt that my rent is going up $75/month AND they are now adding a $25/month pet fee (which I haven't paid in the previous 9yrs of living there and the pets have been there the ENTIRE TIME). So I was feeling all kinds of negative about the fact that I will be able to use NONE of my raise towards actually paying off my debt.

I went online to do a Google Images search about lemons (Original theme to this post: when life hands you lemons....you throw them at idiots who piss you off). And I came across this picture of Alex....a little girl who was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 4 back in 2000. She decided to open a lemonade stand to raise money for research into childhood cancer. Her goal was to raise a million dollars....a goal which was achieved not long before her death in 2004.

Alex's determination and "make lemonade" attitude has spawned a national movement. In 2005, the owners of Kentucky Derby hopeful, Afleet Alex, not only donated a percentage of his winnings to this cause, but brought national attention to it as well. TastyKake created an Alex's Lemonade krimpet, which will raise additional money for the cause.

Since her first lemonade stand in 2000, Alex's Lemonade Stand has raised over 20 MILLION DOLLARS!

So I'm done with my pity party. Instead of looking at the rent increase as something that has negated my raise, I will look at my raise as coming at JUST THE RIGHT TIME to negate my rent increase.

Thank you, Alex, for helping me to put my priorities in order. Now I'm going to go enjoy a nice, cold glass of lemonade!!!

Rainy Day Blues

Less than 6 weeks until the Breast Cancer 3 Day walk.

I didn't do any walking this past weekend. On Saturday, I was depressed and mopey and wanted to spend the day bathing in my mopiness.

Woke up. Stayed in bed reading. Took a nap at noon. Woke up at 2. Moved to the couch to read some more!

On a good note, I actually finished the third book of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I've had the books since I was in high school (mid 80s) and have started the trilogy countless times, but have yet to finish it. Book one flies by. Book two moves a bit more slowly, but intrigues me enough to finish it. Book 3.....I don't think I've ever gotten more than halfway through it. My problem is, once I pick up a book, I can't set it down. And once I do, I'm done with it. and with the LOTR Trilogy, I feel like I need to read THEM ALL at once......which is the equivalent to having a big breakfast on Thanksgiving morning (Book One), going to a Thanksgiving dinner at lunchtime (Book Two), and then having to go to yet another Thanksgiving dinner in the evening (Book Three).

The only time I actually wasn't in bed or on the couch was the hour I spent hiding from a possible tornado in my bathroom. Tropical Storm Hannah was making it way up the east coast and we had tornado warnings in my neighborhood. To be honest, I can never remember if it's a "watch" or a "warning" that means one actually has been sighted, but when the local cable company broke into ALL of the channels saying "get yer ass to shelter, right quick", I did so (after shoving my cats into their carrier and getting them and the guinea pig situated. Gotta take care of the kids first!!!). Turned out to be nothing but better safe than sorry. I have no interest in playing Dorothy.

On Sunday, I allowed myself another sleep-in and then spent the day in a mad apartment cleaning frenzy. My housekeeping is very lax on a good day, but with all of my training, I really have let it get out of hand.

Random funny story.....my BABY sister is away at her freshman year of college. I mailed her WalMart gift card figuring that she could use it for snacks, supplies, cds...whatever. I get a text from her today, thanking me for the card. "Now I can go buy BRAS!!!" was her response. Of course, I had to ask what happened to the bras she currently owns and received the answer "I'm too lazy to do laundry and I don't have any more clean ones". AHHHH COLLEGE!!!!!

I am up to $1600 raised, which means $600 to go (in less than 6 weeks). GULP!!!

Kids are AWESOME

In this day and age, kids seem to get a reputation for being a bit more outspoken and rude than I ever remember being allowed to be. But in reality, there are a lot of amazingly generous children out there and I have two stories to share.

The first is my teammate's daughter, Storm. She came with her mom to the yard sale this weekend and spent every single second finding ways to help us. From putting up the canopy to lugging boxes. I was doing facepainting, so when she saw someone with children, she directed them to my table. She made free sno-cones to hand out to people on the last (and hottest) day. And when she got "bored" with that, she started pulling in customers!!! She made up some signs on posterboard and held them up so the cars passing by would know what this was a breast cancer fundraiser. Several people stopped to make a donation. All on her own, she raised $50 for her mom's goal. STORM IS AN AWESOME KID!!!!

The second story was about the neighbor's children. Late Sunday afternoon, they set up a little lemonade stand. We figured that they were hoping to grab some of our customers....a trickle down effect of sorts. We felt badly for them b/c it was very slow. We had actually started to pack up. After and hour, they packed up as well....

.....and then walked down the street to give us the $11 they had raised!!!

How amazing is that?!?!?!

Last year on the walk, we walked past an elementary school. Along the entire fenced in schoolyard were dozens of young children, wearing pink, and holding up signs to cheer us on.

KIDS ARE SUPER COOL!!!!

Pink Penguin Extravaganza!!!!

Hello all. Yet another TIRED Monday after a busy, busy, CRAZY BUSY weekend (and hellishly long week beforehand).

No walking this time.....instead the focus was on fundraising. My team captain, Samantha, held a yardsale at her place in North NJ. She invited the rest of us Pink Penguins along to try and raise money for our individual efforts....we called the event the PINK PENGUIN EXTRAVAGANZA.

I spent the ENTIRE WEEK baking like a madwoman. I made 6-7 cakes. I made 4-5 batches of brownies. I made several batches of cookies.

Keep in mind, this is on top of working: 13hrs (mon), 11 hrs (tues), 10 hrs (wed/thurs). And even though I told my boss I only wanted to work 4hrs on Fri, I ended up working 6.5 (on 4hrs of sleep since I was up until 1am icing cakes the night before). I didn't get to bed before midnight all week AND I had to wake up at 4:30 am on Saturday.

I made $130 and I was happy with that. Not all of that was from the baked goods. I also had some magnetic car ribbons and other items with the pink ribbon on it. I did free face painting for the kids and some parents donated $ for that.

Samantha actually had a write up in the paper of the event...she put it in a few days ahead of time. As a result, she received many donations of items to sell. And by many....I mean MANY MANY MANY MANY!!! And people dropped by with checks already made out to the cause. She made $850 in the first day alone!!! Insane!!! And she has 2 people lined up to come take the leftovers to yard sales at their houses and donate a portion of the proceeds back to us.

I need to take a page from her book when doing my fundraising events next year. It's been a bit more difficult to have a HUGE yardsale b/c I don't have my own place. I'm hoping that will change within the next 6 months (as I have plans to take advantage of the real estate market and buy a house).

It was a great weekend. Not only did I get to subtract money from the WHAT I NEED TO GET TO MY $2200 GOAL column, but I got to hang out with my 2 crazy teamates and friends. It was a lot of fun!!!

Between the money I raised this weekend and the money I still have to add to my account from the August bake sale @ work, I should be around $1450 raised. So if anyone should happen to see a $750 bill lying on the ground, keep me in mind!!!